Merch Joke — SEX TALK WITH MY MOM

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These luxurious boxers are soft, breathable, and have a button! They have been a staple of Cam's wardrobe for the past five years. A real collector's item!

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These condoms come straight from Cam's bedside drawer. Bought two years ago. Never used. Never opened. Purchase before the deal expires!

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Toilet paper meant for bedside use. Great for cleaning up bodily fluids. Barely used due to 21-Day Masturbation Challenge.

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This massage candle makes your bedroom smell like a forest of green tea leaves. Warning: Your partner might throw a glob of molten wax onto your chest, which can decrease sexual desire.

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If sharing a bed with another human leaves you feeling anxious and aroused, take 5mg of Melatonin, and you will sleep like a baby. A baby with wildly vivid nightmares about commitment and intimacy.

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Does the light from your partner's phone seem like a beacon in the night? This lightweight mask is tremendous for blocking out extraneous visuals that leave you lying awake in rage.

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This Wreck-It Ralph figurine is a key part of Cam's nightstand. It was randomly placed there two years ago and hasn't moved since. Look cool and cultured in front of your lover!

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This beautiful nightstand comes from a flea market! One time Cam had a panic attack thinking that it might contain bed bugs. It didn't! It's also great for storing stuff.

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A generous man offered Cam's mom $2500 for her "Scat Caviar." Somehow she did not accept his offer. The good news: Cam is willing to ship you his excrement for the low price of $19.99!

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Cam's mom wrote a book titled "A Cougar's Guide To Getting Your Ass Back Out There." She insisted that he advertise this on their store, otherwise she would stop paying for his phone bill.